Divorce and stuff that happens during it.
Divorce and Marriage Search Trends UK versus USA
I wrote about Divorce trends a while back, why? Christ knows, this is a divorce blog what would you expect? Anyways. I haven’t blogged for a while so I thought I’d show this little graphic from Google trends for UK based searches.
I thought this was interesting. These are the 10 most searched on divorce related words for November 2007 in most searched on order as reported by Google.
divorce, after divorce , divorce advice, divorce children, divorce law, divorce records, divorce uk, divorces, on divorce, about divorce,
It’s sort of fascinating to read through the list as it is in a way almost an insight into the collective psyche of people interested in or dealing with the topic of divorce. I’ll skip the 1st keyword ‘divorce’ as that doesn’t really say too much other than that some people are too lazy to broaden the search term out, or just unwilling perhaps or maybe too trusting of a search engine to deliver what they expect to find for the term.
There’s after divorce at number 2 people considering divorce or having just been through one and looking for answers or pointers on what to expect?
Followed at 3 by divorce advice a clear link with search term 2 almost going hand in hand.
Then there’s the children thing of course at 4 divorce children (should be the number 1 if you ask me) people frantic with worry trying to gauge the best way of handling things and making it as easy as they can for their kids maybe.
At 5 we have divorce law yuck, that nasty old interfering thing that comes in with cold hard force or determined resolute action a view largely determined by ones status in the divorce proceedings.
Then there’s a curious one at 6 of divorce records I was initially surprised to see this so high up in any list as it’s kind of disjointed from the general set, yet a look at the results page shows that it returns all sorts of ancestry trace results so that’s kind of understandble there.
At 7 there’s divorce uk I probably got that in my list because I’m in the UK. Could this be one of those searches from people who got lazy initially found a lot of irrelevant international results so decided to hone it down a little by inserting the UK word?
At 8 there was divorces a search by people looking for more than one divorce perhaps, some kind of bigamistical recovery thing 
At 9 there was on divorce hmmn another little search anomaly from people who aren’t that clear on the best way to use a search engine perhaps.
At 10 there was about divorce similar to other queries but no doubt good for returning pages that have the word ‘about’ divorce in the title and last but not least, yet for me the most important one of them all
children and divorce.
I’d like to forecast that when I look at this again in January sometime, that Divorce Xmas or Divorce Christmas will be high up on that list, as it’s an especially hard time of the year for all concerned.
Of course it would be nice to find in subsequent looks at this that the number trends go down rather than up. The terms Get a Divorce were 55th in a list of 150, lets hope that this position drops down rather than rises. With the stresses that Xmas can bring, I can’t help but think that it’ll rise up rather than fall, let’s hope I’m wrong!
Anyone who ever went through a relationship breakdown will know that in one way or another it’s a tough thing to deal with.
At some point in our lives we are going to want to move on and start anew with someone else, we will all deal with it in different ways too.
I look back at some of my early dating experiences a while after my ex and I had split, some 6 months down the line around about the time when I began to accept that a reconciliation was very unlikely. I remember pulling myself together and saying to myself that life goes on, I just had to pick up the bits and pieces and get out there and meet women. My dad, bless him, had a simple theory for me, he said that all I had to do was ‘pull a bird’ and I’d start to feel better again. Heh, I wish that it was a simple as that as I’d obviously had done that a long time ago, eh dad?
The truth of the matter was that dating was a big pain in the arse! It felt weird as hell. I felt like a fish out of water as I fumbled my way through various flings with all sorts of ill suited people. I look back and laugh at my various online dating encounters and my various efforts at trying to find Mrs right through a process of box ticking via various online dating profiles. After a period of time I realised that there are a lot of desperate people out there running round like headless chickens trying to pair up with this romantic ideal. I included myself amongst this number , employing some standardised internet dating process of dating site to email, to msn conversations, to phone calls, to eventual meet up.
When you’ve been married for a few years you kind of forget how the rules work. Christ I wasn’t that great at the dating game the 1st time around, so I was kind of like a fish out of water. On the one hand I just wanted to get out and have fun, meeting people, having a woman to hang with and do BF and GF stuff, yet on the other I wanted a lot more too. I think I missed the security that marriage once gave, that whole family thing. Waking up or going to bed and knowing my kids were safe asleep in their beds, seeing their sleepy little faces when they came downstairs, reading them a bedtime story. In other words ,I hadn’t really moved on and I think that this showed in the new relationships I tried. Very few people be they men or women want to feel like they are a secondary consideration, we all want to feel that in our special relationships that we are the most important players in it, so to see or learn that someone is still stuck elsewhere can be a little off putting.
Of course, all of this is just my experience, I wasn’t at all light hearted or carefree about it, I wanted someone in my life and was determined to try and find them, not a good approach at all.
Still thankfully for most, not everyone will be like me, not everyone will have experienced their marital breakdown in the way I did, some I guess can just pick up and start off again with minimal effort, free from the constraints of a once restrictive setup happy to embrace what new things and experiences life has to offer them, I’d imagine though that these people are the exception rather than the rule.
Would I date a recently separated person? To be honest, probably not. My last stab at a relationship was with a woman who’d been separated for about 6 months. Whilst we got on well and had a lot of fun, she couldn’t but help relating to her marriage and her kids, she had difficulty playing it cool taking it all one step at a time, she’d ask me to park up the road away from her home, she’d try to get me to interact with her kids as if I was their father, I was acutely aware of all the machinations of her divorce proceedings and the various nasty behaviors of her ex and her in laws, it was like being reminded all over again of an experience I wanted to put behind me!
I think anyone who comes out of a long marriage or relationship needs a period of calm and reflection whereby they can have a look at themselves and their lives and see where they want to be and go. Some of us will get lucky and hook up with someone who really does it for them and blows them away but most of us will not, especially if we are looking online through some random catalog of photos and descriptions, at least that’s what I think today.
I’m certainly done with online dating, it’s far too tiresome and ultimately disappointing. I’m taking a view that the best places to meet people are outside in the real world, through clubs, jobs, bars, gyms, friends and family, places where you’ve met people through some real world experience of eye contact and pleasant exchange, something concrete and substantial, rather than this pixelated screen introduction. Online dating just doesn’t give you that whole 3D thing, in many ways it can set you up for a huge letdown too. You’ll ‘click’ in the virtual world only to find that the physical is a big disappointment, be it through attraction, lack of chemistry or both. Don’t get me wrong, it can and does work for lots of people, I certainly had my share of pleasant experiences and made some nice new friends as a result and wouldn’t change any of those for the world, yet the process can end up seeming like a bit of a merry go round, especially if you have some huge set of romantic expectation around it all. I think it’s fair to conclude that people who come out of long term relationships can often feel a little lost and isolated, maybe looking to replace what is no longer there in their lives. Whilst there’s no harm in wanting that special something or someone, experience has taught me that maybe there’s a right time and a wrong time for such things and that there may well be some truth in the idea that you can look too hard for that special somebody. In my humble opinion of course
p.s some excellent perspectives here
Lots of blogs today are reporting that Linda Hogan, wife of Hulk Hogan has filed for divorce.
When called for comment by a St. Petersburg Times reporter, Hulk simply said, “Thank you for the great information,” and hung up.The Hulkster called the paper back five minutes later and said, “I’m kind of shocked … You caught me off-guard. Holy smokes. Wow, you just knocked the bottom out of me.”
It’s no surprise to read that he’d say such things, christ 23 years is a long time to be ‘hooked’ up with someone, especially when you’ve raised kids and shared important seminal moments in your life.
Hulk on Divorce : “Holy Smokes”
23 Nov 2007 by TMZ Staff TMZ.com: Wrestling star Hulk Hogan didn’t learn
of his impending divorce from his soon-to-be ex wife Linda
— but rather from a reporter in Florida. Whoa, brother!As TMZ first reported,
Linda filed the papers on Tuesday.
23 Nov 2007 by Perez Hilton Linda Hogan has filed for divorce
from Hulk, the local Fox affiliate in Tampa, where the family lives, is
reporting. Seems like there won’t be another season of their Vh1 show!Hulk Hogan’s wife files for divorce
20 hours ago by Brad Trechak According to MSNBC, Hulk Hogan’s
wife filed for divorce . To make matters even worse, apparently
he didn’t even find out until the reporter investigating the story told
him that the paperwork had been submitted to a Florida court. …Hulk Hogan’s Wife Files For Divorce
7 hours ago by Joe Reality Petersburg Times, Linda Hogan (also known as
Linda Bollea) filed for divorce from her husband Hulk Hogan
(also known as Terry Bollea) on the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. Apparently,
she didn’t bother to tell her husband that she had ..Divorce news latest blow for Hogan
Hogans To Divorce After 23 Years Of Marriage
16 hours ago by admin Hulk Hogan didn’t know that his wife, Linda has filled
to divorce after 23 years of marriage until a reporter
from their hometown paper the St. Petersburgh Times broke the news. The
reporter called Hogan on Friday night to asked him .LINDA HOGAN FILES FOR DIVORCE !
24 Nov 2007 by Evil Beet Linda and Hulk Hogan to Divorce .
Awwwwww shit. Nothing’s quite as it seems, I suppose. And nothing destroys
a marriage faster than a troubled teen coupled with a full-frontal media
assault. Hulk Hogan’s wife filed for divorce this week.
..An expensive lesson in foreign divorce
13 hours ago There’s a right way to hire a divorce lawyer
in Germany, and there’s at least one wrong way. Daniel Wise, an audio visual
assistant at the training support center in Hanau, Germany, knows…Hulk Hogan’s wife files for divorce .
18 hours ago by Media Outrage That’s kind of strange that Hogan was oblivious
to his wife’s actions of filing for divorce . Like dude
you knew nothing? Does anyone stay married these days? He better start hiding
assets because we can already foresee Hulk Hogan’s net
Do you reckon divorce is harder on celebs than it is on us less public folk?
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