Divorce Blog

The other day I learnt that my ex is pregnant. It pissed me off no end. I couldn’t and still can’t quite work out why.

Its helpful to summise and ponder I guess. Some people have suggested that I’m not really over her. I thought I was though, am even.

If anything I guess its sort of reawakened some of those feelings I thought I’d resolved. The ones that had an attachment to anger, treachery, betrayal and all of those other words that I tended to associate with the whole intial thing.

See, it all started with a pregancy back then. Long story short is that she lost a child and blamed me for it and never really got over it. For my part I suspected that it wasn’t mine anyway and was probably the result of a night with the guy she is now with, and now having a kid with.

A part of me feels sad for my kids too. My son is a little confused by it all and my daughter has mixed feelings on it as well.

Maybe i’m pissed in the manner of its revelation. It was my daughter who told me about it, she’s only 12. We were on holiday together and she said ‘Dad, I ve got to tell you something, mum’s having a baby’ I asked her how she learned of it, she explained that my ex’s bf called a so called ‘family’ conference and announced that there was to be a new addition to the ‘family’.

I think this is what has really done me in. That whole notion of family. My family after all was ripped away from me.

I know of course that I shouldn’t look at it that way, but one can’t help feel what one feels. It hurts. It doesn’t help also when you have an unsupportive girlfriend who doesn’t seem able to comprehend why I’d even be bothered, god what an emotional retard.

My point - My point is, watch yourself , it can still bite you on the arse.

April 12th, 2007 | Category: anger, emotions, kids | Subscribe to comments | Leave a comment | Trackback URL